How to Say Sorry & Why Apologizing is so Hard
For my quick how-to on how to say ‘sorry’… scroll down to the bottom)
Saying “sorry” is the worst – is it hard for you too?
As an adult, I’m very aware of where I learned this from, but likewise – as an adult, it is now my responsibility to reprogram that. I’m an adult and I know better.
If you read my previous post, let me continue the story. I’d had a win, I stated a boundary, and my Mom honored it. But then.. I felt bad and felt the need to take it a step further – this is was the wrong move.
It started out calm and when I met resistance, I lost my cool.
Oomphh. This used to be the way my Mom and I argued with each other when I was a teenager. But like I said, friends. I’m an adult now 😉 and I know better.
There is RARELY (some say – never) a need to raise your voice during a disagreement. I remember reading an article by a marriage therapist as a college freshman (yes – I’m a nerd and I own it) and I read this and I was SHOCKED 😂😂😂
When you grow up in a family where yelling is how you communicated when you were mad… and you then read that yelling is ‘incredibly disrespectful and no proper way to communicate’… the world as you know it explodes.
This may feel familiar or maybe there’s something else you grew up feeling was normal until you were an adult and got new perspective.
EITHER WAY, I was in the wrong for snapping at her and I left the conversation, heated. I used my anger management tools – threw some pillows at a wall, stomped my feet, went on a walk listening to my anger Spotify playlist and when I felt a lift, switched to an empowering Abraham Hicks video to help me recalibrate my attitude.
I would have lovvvvved to leave it that. I felt better, the conversation had ended but I knew I owed her an apology.
WHY is saying “sorry” so hard? I don’t care who’s ‘fault’ it is, but apologizing for your part in whatever went awry, is the right thing to do.
I knew I had to do it – I procrastinated – I felt like a puppy who turned into deadweight on the sidewalk when it done walking. THE RESISTANCE
I did a @melrobbins 5-4-3-2-1, unstuck my feet from the ground and headed her way and I apologized.
What a weight off. It’s hilarious how we’ve normalized carrying the weight of guilt, shame, and grudges – Drop it, release it, it’s slowing you down.
And with that – we hugged, chatted about a few things, and the chapter closed.
Practice recognizing where you’ve fallen short, take a deep breath, jump up and down to shake off the resistance (like I did) and get it off your chest.
There’s freedom on the other side. We talk about hot relationships with yourself, your lover, your life and this – this is one important tool on this playground.
Let’s take the first step in letting go.
In love and play,