How to Say Sorry & Why Apologizing is so Hard


For my quick how-to on how to say ‘sorry’… scroll down to the bottom)

Saying โ€œsorryโ€ is the worst – is it hard for you too?

As an adult, Iโ€™m very aware of where I learned this from, but likewise – as an adult, it is now my responsibility to reprogram that. Iโ€™m an adult and I know better.

If you read my previous post, let me continue the story. Iโ€™d had a win, I stated a boundary, and my Mom honored it. But then.. I felt bad and felt the need to take it a step further – this is was the wrong move.

It started out calm and when I met resistance, I lost my cool.ย 

Oomphh. This used to be the way my Mom and I argued with each other when I was a teenager. But like I said, friends. Iโ€™m an adult now ๐Ÿ˜‰ and I know better.

There is RARELY (some say – never) a need to raise your voice during a disagreement. I remember reading an article by a marriage therapist as a college freshman (yes – Iโ€™m a nerd and I own it) and I read this and I was SHOCKED ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

When you grow up in a family where yelling is how you communicated when you were madโ€ฆ and you then read that yelling is โ€˜incredibly disrespectful and no proper way to communicateโ€™… the world as you know it explodes.

This may feel familiar or maybe thereโ€™s something else you grew up feeling was normal until you were an adult and got new perspective.ย 

EITHER WAY, I was in the wrong for snapping at her and I left the conversation, heated. I used my anger management tools – threw some pillows at a wall, stomped my feet, went on a walk listening to my anger Spotify playlist and when I felt a lift, switched to an empowering Abraham Hicks video to help me recalibrate my attitude.

I would have lovvvvved to leave it that. I felt better, the conversation had ended but I knew I owed her an apology.

WHY is saying โ€œsorryโ€ so hard? I donโ€™t care whoโ€™s โ€˜faultโ€™ it is, but apologizing for your part in whatever went awry, is the right thing to do.

I knew I had to do it – I procrastinated – I felt like a puppy who turned into deadweight on the sidewalk when it done walking. THE RESISTANCE

I did a @melrobbins 5-4-3-2-1, unstuck my feet from the ground and headed her way and I apologized.

What a weight off. Itโ€™s hilarious how weโ€™ve normalized carrying the weight of guilt, shame, and grudges – Drop it, release it, itโ€™s slowing you down.

And with that – we hugged, chatted about a few things, and the chapter closed.

Practice recognizing where youโ€™ve fallen short, take a deep breath, jump up and down to shake off the resistance (like I did) and get it off your chest.

Thereโ€™s freedom on the other side. We talk about hot relationships with yourself, your lover, your life and this – this is one important tool on this playground.ย 

Letโ€™s take the first step in letting go.ย 

In love and play,